Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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