Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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