What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
