I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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