I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have feelings that need drinking.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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