she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
