Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
