hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
