He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
