i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
