I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
