So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
