i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
