and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
