i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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