I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
