hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
