you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I enjoy the company of your penis
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
