I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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