you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
