I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
