Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
