Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
