THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
