so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
