More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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