I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
