Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
