remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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