the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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