Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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