my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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