bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
