I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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