i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
