I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
