Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
