Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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