everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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