Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
