So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
