WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
