Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
