So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
