then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
