thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
