She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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