turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
