i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
