You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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