i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
