I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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